I was really bothered by the decisions I made. every time i see them practicing and wearing whites, i felt like I'm so stupid for letting go of that one great opportunity in my life. everyone had wanted to be on the list and I'm lucky to be on it but then i have to let it go. i had my reasons why i should.
REASONS:
i still have five (5) general subjects and these always conflicts my duty time (if ever I'll have my capping). i have to face the consequences if ever I'll take the risk. i have to accept not to have a high grades on those subjects or... maybe, I'll fail my major subjects since it can distract me.
I'm not yet ready to go on duty because i really don't know what to do like assessing the patient and other stuffs. pero, it doesn't mean, i hadn't gain any knowledge on those things. its just that i don't want to make mistakes. i have a lots of "what ifs" in my mind. in conclusion, I'm not yet ready emotionally, physically, and mentally.
we still have to fix this "family-problem thingy" and.. uhmmm... to personal.
I'm still young and i don't have to rush on things. i have more time to equipped my self.
well, there's still a next batch for capping and pinning this October. i just have to wait for 5 months.. and... i could be one of them.. sooner or later. ?
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