school stuffs

i feel sick today. a lot of problem arise just this day. now i can really feel the school pressure I'd been dreading for a week. anyway, i hate to say this but i just had my first absent for this year, for this semester. too bad. i have to make a decision this morning not to attend my first class which is Nursing Research, 7:30. I'm not proud of it, my Id and Superego were fighting that time. and my Ego said i have to decide. i have to do that to make things better for the next class. i know it's unfair and i feel ashamed of myself. well, everything was doing fine... and tomorrow? well, i hope so. I'm also praying for that. first day of duty tomorrow at NMMC Medical Ward. i expect a lot of first time to happen tomorrow. i hope it would just be smooth-sailing. honestly, i was terrified to know the Clinical Instructor for the next 4 weeks. hearing all these "not-so-good" comments from my friends made my CSF to leak. but i just hope he'll treat us well and i also pray that we'll be having a good time working with the toxic patients and i also hope, i'll learn a lot of "reality" things from him and not to cry with the entire shift. wish me luck tomorrow!